JOE IS DYING

Salam dari BFA confusion land. I had to re-write my thesis proposal, but other than that.. I will be tackling ideas for the scripts, and scouting once it's done! cmon, johanna bfore the year ends! btw, skrg gua freelance sama bokapnya temen gua. bikin app gitu deh. bakal seru! :)

My feet pounding on the floor. The carpet muffled the sound, still i am ghr frustrated that my heart pumped harder to remind me that time is compressed now. time should've move faster, but time is pushed as if to heighten the importance of this talk. or this rejection of criticism.

Ya ampun, gua nga seneng ini. gua ngak seneng dia, lebih tepatnya. Cewe yang duduk disebrang gua. Ini masalah sama sekolah seni: "personal". "Kerjaan gua personal. jadi, lu nga bisa ganti-ganti kerjaan gua. dan opini lu ngak bisa mengubah arus kerjaan gua." Ini perbedaan antara sekolah seni dengan sekolah desain. Seni menarik jati dari jiwa diri. Lalu, rasa diberi oleh yang lain. Desain menarik jati dari jiwa orang lain. Lalu rasa, diberi oleh diri. Desain hidup dan berkembang dari kritik, sedangkan seni menggunakan kritik sebagai iklan atau sebagai unauthorized-biography. Maaf, bahasanya sangat makelah, atau puisi. Semakin lama saya duduk dikeals in, semakin banyak saya melihat perbedaan antara kita. Saya ngak pernah akan bilang "ngak. ini selesai. ini ngak akan saya ganti." My work is only successful when others get it the way that i want them to. So i couldn't separate my work from my audience, or from my process. unless, of course, gua ud mal...

blog ini butuh dihilangkan dari google nama gua butuh dihapus dari blog ini supaya ngak kripi supaya ngak terlalu ketauan tentang gua tentang otak gua mungkin bakal butuh waktu smoga hilang dari peredaran

bosen. bosen di kelas. bahasa inggris kaya bahasa urdu. bosen. bosen. mau nonton dan nga kerjain tugas.

List of Edibles that i like (in no order): 1. Italian 2. Sushi 3. Waffle/French Toast + bacon + maple syrup 4. Bubur Cirebon 5. Makanan Padang, esp. rendang merah yg kering pake daun singkong on nasi panas ngepul, and sate padang pake lontong atau lemang. 6. Angel Cookie. Those heart shaped, sugary ones. 7. Kueh Basah: pinada, kueh ape. 8. Pisang Goreng 9. Ikan Teri and Ikan goreng pake sambel. Drinks: 0. Water 1. Smoothies 2. Chrysanthemum Tea - in a can 3. Pomegranate Italian Soda 4. Milkshakes

Can you believe that this piece right here was supposed to be a monument to Russia like Eiffel Tower is to the French? The model  is 22ft-high (that is 6-ish meters, that means 4 of me), but it wasn't engineered correctly that the idea never really came to be. It was supposed to house 3 rooms; an assembly area, an office and an information office. The monument was to be a symbol of the possible Utopia after Lenin took over. At the time, the government was so aggressive on promoting the future of Russia through posters, art, sculptures and monuments, despite the low economic conditions in most parts of Russia. What's cool about this monument is its aesthetic form. Geometric line that builds a staircase towards the stars. The spiral is dynamic, it is clean and avant garde. It implied movement and action (constructivism!). Imagine if the monument was really built (better engineered too). Wouldn't it look so bizarre among buildings? I would like to see that. ...

Lagi merasa sangat-sangat disayangi sama tuhan. Ngak kebayang banget bisa dipilih dan diberkatin kaya gini. Ngak minta, dan kalau pun minta ngak berhak juga. Cuma, malah disayang pol-polan sampe ngak bisa bilang apa-apa lagi selain Thank you. Kalo tuhan itu orang, gua udah bilang "stop-stop, gua sungkan." Cuma, karena Tuhan, ya... ngak perlu sungkan dong. kan emang Tuhannya yang baik, bukan karena gua-nya yang berhak dikasih berkat. So, again, Father. I want to hug you. For reals.

Things I want to do: 1. Travel 2. Do music 3. Dive, Snorkel, Surf, Swim 4. Inspire People, tell great stories.

sangat ngak ada drive buat sekolah. ngak tau kenapa. dan ide kreatif ngak ada yang ngocor. mungkin gua bosen mungkin gua... lagi dapet. jadinya emosi nga jelas.

Gua baru selesai baca Sarah's Key. A beautiful book written by Tatiana de Rosnay. Set in present time and WW2 france. I was deeply carried by the story, moved to anger and tears. A strong theme of collective memories, history and their connection to one's identity. Sounds like one of my thesis ideas, huh? Reading through Sarah's Key, i couldn't stray away from these ideas: - "divorce" is getting so... casual, unsurprising, light. - getting old is scary. partly the jarring and sudden change (from first person pov) - passing down memories are important to keep you grounded to who you are I cried reading the book, because i remembered my grandparents and the conversations we could have had, if i had known the importance of conversations. Now i had lost 2 of them, and i don't want to lose the other 4 (opung, opa pede, oma dee, opa dan). Really, i want to talk to them. I want to listen to their stories, laugh and cry with them. I want them to share their...

cowo yang terlalu baik (sama semua cewe) harus belajar menahan kebaikan. supaya ngak ngasih harapan. -- apa ini, jo! lo bicara dari pengalaman? buakakkakakakakkkk! dan cewe yang gampang suka cowo, harus cepet ganti topik setelah baca sms/fb/watevur dari cowo-penuh-harapan. karena sampe everything is black on white, to hope is to lose track on the essence of the conversation.

hari ini guru saya masih ngak hadir, dia lagi ada konfrens di istambul. aduh keren bgt ya? pengen banget pergi ke kota2 dan negara negara lain. suatu hari nanti, kali ya! eniwei.. kembali ke tugas di skolah, saya bingung dari kemarin malam saya mikirin ini. cuma mungkin karena kebanyakan mikirin konsep, dan ngak shoot langsung ke produk akhir yg mau di dapetin, otak saya jadi muter2 di daerah abstrak yang ngak penting (menurut saya). sekarang ini saya punya 3 kata buat narrowing down my possible thesis: people, relationships and stories. dan saya akan bergelut lebih lagi unutuk dapetin thesis yg jempolan. *goyang jempol*

saya nervous. monday saya harus masuk keals yg baru saya bolosin minggu lalu. akhirnya, satu kerjaan nga selesai, dan PRnya saya nga jelas. terus, saya ngak deket sama any of the class mates. aduh, perut melingker lingker, dan ke iket jadi satu. padahal ini masih hari sabtu. (rhyme!)

Some hawaii pics, as promised. I didn't take as much as i thought i would be. I mean, i brought 6gb worth of SD Cards. But, i was more like.. enjoying things while i'm at it. Next time, i will definitely take more pics, all the time. Memories are worth keeping, right?

i don't know. i really don't know. am i to be a designer, a third party helper for the first hand helper. feels like it. i wanna be in the zone. i want to help with my hands, not with the computer. but i don't know, i don't know. i surely don't want to waste my parents' money on changing my mind. i have to make this work and i will make money out of this first. please lemme break even, god.

whoa. did you guys checked out the new blogger UI? it's pretty sweet. i like how clean it is. confused? not really. just gimme a bit of time to get to know this, and i'll be off to go. how's first week of class been? it was awesome. seniors gather! i am excited for creating a motion reel and getting my design website up and running. cmon cargo, reply to me already. so i'm out for the last class of the week: comparative religions. whooaaa. heavy heavy. :)

All nervousness fades as i came into a room full of friends! i mean, ya ngak deket2 amat, sedeket anak2 indo di greja. but still, we've been through things together. that counts as something special. So, small talks, picked a table by the window beside avid smokers; john and catelyn. hopefully i could breathe. i could've chosen the table by maggie, stella, rachelle, etc-etc.. but i didn't due to the distance to the nearest electrical plug (what are those things called again? colokan listrik. hahaha) first two classes i'm not too excited abt. the teacher isn't my fave, but i should juice everything out of him nonetheless. Then comes the class i'm kinda weary about; Comparative Religions. It's going to be mind opening, and i hope i will not be misled. Philosophical and Religious classes could get pretty confusing. So.. that's the update. There was one big thing i forgot to do, but i hope i could do it tmrw early in the morning and it would still be ok (bel...

Aloha! Just got back from Hawaii today at 5am (technically yesterday), a 5 day trip i made with Tam. It was filled with fun time, and great beaches. We didn't talk as much as i thought we would. I blame my lack of caffeine, or my decreasing ability to speak in english. Maybe i was confined in a too indo group in Seattle. Maybe. Anyway, pictures skipped - maybe later once i had the time to transfer the photos, just wanna share my fave things that i got from hawaii. You think i'll be sharing stories about my trip? Wrong! Fave things from Hawaii: 1. White Swatch Watch - with date and day. Love it Love it. 2. Sephora Travel Blush Brush - so soft. I could've gotten it in Seattle, but it's 5.3% less of tax in Waikiki. So.. i got it. I almost bought the benetint in cha-cha. but i didn't. i should've huh? zazz. 3. Hand Lotions from L'occitane. Same tax reason. Awesome Moments in Hawaii: 1. Snorkeling - for sure!! i love it. being in the same water with the fis...

news update, just got my 2nd check on the mail today. my first graphic design check. this saturday will be another first time job for me. i'm gonna be a photographer's assistant for a wedding. wish me luck! i'll be sure to keep my mind inspired for possible shots. until, another update, laters!