JOE IS DYING

Tonight, I let my back dry off under the air con. The countless push-ups, minute long planks and sit-ups just can't stop me from mellowing down and going into this whirl of quietness. Yes, I'm playing Bon Iver if you're asking. This opening paragraph has nothing to do with what's to come. My apologies, I just had to let you know what my state of being is like. As I wrote on my twitter, emotions aren't universal, as some might suggest. Everyone has a range of them, but not all has the same rainbow of colors. Our colors are picked off from the experiences we've been through, the good and the bad. None can say that their rainbow is better looking than the other, because who can undermine what another has experienced. One can only relish in what they've learnt and hopefully create something unique out of that set of Crayola. The sad part is, not a lot of people know the treasure behind our unique colors, our experiences. The stories they will inspire, or

For some reason, I was brought back to a friend's old blog. It still existed, though the last post was marked 2008. I was reminded of the kind of people that we were. The stupidly loving kind of people that we were. You know when you're young you believe everyone. All the sweet promises, all the lies. Then years pass by, you met people who hurt you, betrayed your trust. You began closing your heart, barricading it with coldness and distance. That was me. The barricading part starts young. I was confused. Uprooted from my elementary school besties, faced sudden changes in my daily routines, I took a step back and tell everyone I don't believe in 'best friend'. I thought it was cool to let everyone think i'm this insensitive person who's best at joking and entertaining the public. So, I grew cold within. Despite being surrounded by the sweetest, most loving and accepting friends, my heart wasn't open to love them back completely. About a week ago, I