missing a fool

There is this feeling of expecting to hear a distinctive sound in the morning, though not hearing it did not put me into a mourning session, but such loss left a void in my heart. It started when my younger brother, joey, as i called him, left the country for Auburn, Washington. He's taking a high school completion program out there and living on his own (with the help of his house parents of course). I know that life is less hectic without him around, i feel more relaxed without his constant nagging. But there is always some stuff that i cant do without him. things i usually count on him to do, things he usually help me to, errands i usually asked him to run. For example, asking if there is a PCMCIA slot on the laptop. i mean, i cant ask my little sister to check it out. she dont even know what a PCMCIA slot is, i dont even think you know what a PCMCIA slot is. hahaahaha. poor you.

but anyways, i'm not going to ridicule you further, i kinda missed my brother. kind of zealous for him as well. i mean, he's out there getting the proper education while i am here doing nothing except waiting anxiously for the acception letter. but it is to be reminded, that i am not jealous. i will get my education too in the states. but he'll be the one who do the first leap. i am not the leaping kind of person. i'm more of a flying type. you know, the one that imagine so high and get back to reality to do what she's always dreamed of. but you know how dreams can be a little bit too extravagant. thus not all my imaginations come true. "hey lil brother. i'll come and get you."
i pray, Lord, pray that i am going to japan this march. please. please.please. i need a propar JP lessons. please. just for two or three months. i'll do anything, except selling my soul to the devil.