it's almost the end of the year

almost the end of the year by tresdivine

this year, a lot of things had happened. In a way, i think i've grown much, changed much. In some parts, however, i felt like i've let myself down for quite a sum. In six months off, i didn't do anything much. Or that it might seem. I learned a lot though, i took care of myself a lot more, develop things that i didn't have time when i was in school. I took the time to learn hair styling, i took jazz vocal classes with Kak Hari, i swam every now and then, i was much involved in church activities, i prayed a lot. and i mean, a lot.

it is true that through pain and troubles, you'll grow, you'll learn to endure and to persevere.

For a couple of weeks now, i've been praying for god's touch, like a solid presence in my life. I want to be hungry, to really be able to listen and be satisfied. Maybe, i wasn't as seriously praying as i made myself sound. I had my mind going to other places and i wasn't focus on what i asked for. However, today as Jen was playing on my computer, i read my bible and the daily devotion said that satan might made it seemed like what i've done wasn't much of a deal. But the truth is that isn't by might, or by power, but by the spirit of God, will i be able to overcome things. If the walls of jericho could tumble down just by seven walk-around of worship, then through worship things could really change. "Why should we labor alone in our own strength when God's Spirit will work alongside us?" Satan might be little our praises, but our praises is the mightiest weapon. It might seem like things aren't as bright now, and spiritually i felt a little dry. but this is what god told me today:

You're living My plan - your dream. I am here and I am guiding you. I've been with you all these time, you're just too comfortable in my presence that you felt like I'm not there. But I am and I am always holding your hands. That's how close we are, kid. You need to open your eyes and your heart, feel my every presence in every seconds of your life. I am here with you.

God has a plan, and God will make everything possible for His plan of me to come true. That includes paying school bills, getting more scholarships, passing this year with praises and servicing in a place where God really wants me to be.