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Purpose Driven Life for Teens

By  johanna wattimena     4:34 PM    Labels: 
Have you ever felt so little desire to live? I mean, not in a suicidal, emo way, but more in a day to day basis. Like, you can't find a reason to go to school than just to merely do it because you usually do it, or just because you pay 66 cents per minute for that school. I had, and boy was that a chore! I woke up late every single day and thus every single day i've got to run down the hill, not taking my breakfast along with me, praying that the bus won't leave me and that even if it did, i won't be late to class. every single day, can you imagine that? i didn't have a purpose to going to school (at least, for the last 3 weeks of the new semester), i didn't find joy in whatever i was doing, i though they were all just pure junk to clean up, a chore i've got to do, a bad music that i have to listen to for three more minutes cause the guy driving the car i was in likes those kind of songs. I thought, where did my purpose go? where did that first semester joy go? where did my energy evaporate to? why are these happening??

instead of writing my humanities essay and drawing in my tomorrow due sketchbook, i chose to share this with you guys. i dont know where all those things go to. i still dont know why that happens, i want to find out, but that's not as important as this.

i did not have a purpose, and thus all i do, i did them in vain. I didn't have the energy to do my best, the patience to try numerous times, the joy to do all the little things. I clinged to coffee to give me energy and i find it harder and harder to stop cursing. When i lost my passion, my purpose, all i did went up in smoke. None of the things, no matter how much i spend my time in, worth anything.

Realizing this, i broke down (and realizing some other substancial things) and pray. I gave thanks for every moment i live here, every seattle air i breathe, every thing i live with (house, food, etc) are all miracle works. I can't get all of these if God didn't provide me them. Humanly speaking, none of my things are supposed to go according to plan in the first place. it was imposible for me to be here, and it was crazy even to think that i will sustainly be alive and well out here. But now, remembering the way God leads me here, the way He sustained me, the way he took care of me and the way his patience overcame me, made me acknowledge the truth that he has been whispering to me for months. Only i wasn't sensitive to hear them.

After i prayed, i have the strength to fight my fight. Even though the possiblity is unlikely, i will fight the fight and god's blessings will be upon me that i will win (just like moses's raised arm, made israel won against the amalekites).

If you are having the same problem i was having, ask the lord to give you the courage to keep moving forward, the energy and the ability to expand. God's grace is sufficient for you and he will surely provide for you. Even for things you thought are not important. Like, the ability to have morning joy that made you jump up and get ready for school in a flash.

god bless!

About johanna wattimena

An explorer driven by curiosity. This blog is one of the longest commitment she manage to keep.