thank you lord

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thank you lord for an answer i've been waiting for. thank you for giving me the strength to wait. thank you for the journey that has shaped my entire perspective. thank you that the understanding, and the extra hint of wisdom you've given me is so much greater than what i could reap my whole life if i didn't go through this. i am glad that you've put me through so much, and yet in the midst of this "valley of the shadow of death" you did not gave up on my ever pressing fear. you did not leave me just because i half-heartedly gave up. you nudged me and i found again a reason to be joyful. even when the answer is still on its way.

now that the answer is here, i am so much calmer, god. i have so much space in my lungs i could breathe freely. now that the answer is here, there's joy rather than the typical johanna's happy-crazy-energetic mood. the joy took over and gave peace (only a little more upbeat, since im smiling and sighing joyfully).

is it weird, god, that i didn't jump around when i got the answer? i just sit there, feeling relieved, smiled and said thank you. then i get on with life. i feel like im more persistent and bright when im under preassure. BUT, im glad that it's all over. i shouldn't overthink this, right God. about my response? you know my heart. you know me. you know that i love you. and this "love" isn't something people just say. it's real. in every sense of love there is, i LOVE you. i thank you. and i couldn't thank you enough. i love love love you. i wanna see you god.

so i'll close this post. and i'll talk to you soon.

loveyou!

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