Thoughts: Grey Gardens

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I just read about Grey Gardens again. Now, knowing that it's a documentary and not a film based on a musical with a documentary style. I researched on the two Edies, and how their lives were.

I'm just really struck on how your younger, glorious days can become like a time you want to relive and re-live again. Something you'd always look back on, and *sigh* as if what you're living now is just a dream and when you wake up, you'll go back to those days again.

it scares me. i dont want to be old, and yet keep on wishing for the young days to begin again. Regreting what i have become and the many chances i have missed, or filling up what was real with what it could've become and talk about it as if that was the truth. Now i don't have many thoughts about that, i rarely look back. but i hope when i get older, i will - as much as i am now- look forward for tomorrow.

oh god, keep me and lead me. i dont want to end up like that. my stomach isn't feeling so good. ugh. :(

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