Thoughts on birthday night

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U kno, one of the best things about living in Seattle is that I get to stretch my heart and learn to love. Yes, yes, i know i havent reached the end of my stay here to bring 4 years into conclusion, but as the years have shown thus far, seattle is teaching me how to love and how to cherish those moments.
Like how i spent my birthday today and how the people celebrate with me. Cakes in the morning with 4 of my favorite ladies, talks and laughs at 12am with the masmans and half of the yesler boys (sakaw and theo), chill time with cine after wok, trus small dinner eith my lovely cg and movies with the big downtown family. I mean, god, you bless me beyond my imagination! These people are the sweetest, funniest and cutest creatures out there. And i know, coming from Johanna those compliments sounded unreal, but it took 4 years to bring me to love that way. Ask me 3 years ago if my “friends” are that lovable, i could say i cant even fathom that.
My prayer and my wish for my birthday is this: that i may learn to open up, love and share life with more people. To let my heart feel and to be ok with getting embarrassed or hurt, if that’s what it takes to show love. It’s a tough step to take (yes, i dont quite share “love”), But why have a heart if i dont let people see and feel it. But beyond that, God, I want to be knocked over by your love. Help me feel, help me be in awe and open me up to be drowned in your unfailing, unending love.
I want to love you for who you are, more than for what you’ve done.
Father, I thank you for your continuous presence in my life. That u’ve never give up on me, or looked down on the little love i’ve been giving. Its really not by my power or my goodness that u’ve shown me mercy, but it’s only because you are the infinitely gracious towards me. I adore you, jesus. I honor you and i chose to be loved and to be swept over by your love. I want to be able to really really say, that nothing is better than being found right here in your presence. Thank you for being a kind king who loves like no other. I am yours

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