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Quest to Adulthood

By  johanna wattimena     1:55 PM    Labels:, 

We are here again, lads and gents, a path of choice.

For the last couple of weeks my mind has been filled with "the future". The urgency to make adult decisions is pulling my brows closer to each other by the minute. I can't say it's been fun being an adult, however long it has been. But I can say it's better than being pressured by other adults to be where they think I should be. That's one reason why I'd rather sort this "adulthood" out on my own (with God).

Last saturday, Jesslyn broke the news that we'd have to separate ways. Julia, Dania, Devi and I had seen this coming. She's going to live with her family, and we're all for that. I guess it's for the best that the news wasn't only meant for the house's sake, but it's also for our lives. Jesslyn said GNH is our comfort zone. We tend to close one eye to growth when we're already so content with where we're at. So with all the courage Jess can sum, she was the first to break the bubble and told us all to grow. It was heartbreaking, but it was needed. Here we are, a bunch of babies, kicking and pushing to get out of our mothers' wombs- our safety zone, our warmth and comfortable hiding place. The time is now, to be  ready to be released into the world.

And to what do I refer the "world"?

Frankly, I have no clue. And last night, as I prayed and worshiped, I told God that I don't have to know. I just gotta trust Him, gotta trust Him, gotta trust Him. I am taking these last weeks of october very seriously; fasting and praying.

Here's how I know of comfort zone: I wanted something more, but I couldn't care more. There wasn't any challenge to start with, and I took that as a good sign, a sign that I'm doing good. Even if I had grown, my roots couldn't drop any deeper because there wasn't any ground to grow into.

Devi told me, if you've stopped learning then why don't you start teaching? I can't teach if I am not alive in what I'm teaching. If I had stopped being intrigued, drawn into excitement, then I have lost my ability and credibility to inspire, engage and enlighten (teaching). I for one do not want to be taught by raisins.

So now the question is, where do we go from here?

About johanna wattimena

An explorer driven by curiosity. This blog is one of the longest commitment she manage to keep.