JOE IS DYING

I'm reading this This rant below has nothing to do with my reading. I found the writing to be hopeful and insightful. Go Gen-Y! Now, off to the rant. I get really frustrated with clients asking for faster production, when time is needed to achieve a great end result. Especially, when we do this after the fact that most of us has school and work to do too. The previous sentence is not an excuse, the previous sentence is a given condition. We came to the ministry knowing fully that we'd have to balance work with church (yes, i'm ranting about church stuff). We want to give our best in both, and so the later has to know how far to push before it gets out of bounds. I wanted to keep my team sane. I wanted them to be creatively fulfilled, creatively pushed, but beyond all, creatively fresh. Pushing our limits = minimizing creativity and excellence to reach due dates. and this is NOT my philosophy. I believe, if you want to work with me and my team, you do it right. You ...

I am really getting out of my wits here. Video jobs, where are you? I realize that every time I went job searching, my stress level would immediately increase. Not knowing what I should do, I ran up and down the stairs 10x to get the intense energy out. To no avail, sadly. This fear of not measuring up just kept hitting me in the face. Yesterday I went to GC for a little God Break (by God break i mean, a breathing time with God). I decided that I was just going to 'receive' anything He's going to speak through the preacher that night. And BAM! He was talking about David and his journey to being a king. David was anointed when he was still a young'in.  He waited for years before he finally crowned, that too was with a lot of adversaries coming from all sides. Still, there was a "cause" for all the things that happens in his life. His waiting time prepped him to be a worshipper, his goliath battle prepped him to be a warrior, his time by the king prepped...

We've moved on. Different houses, different schools, different paths of life. Maybe in 5 years time we wont be as updated with each other as today.. but once you found a family, they stay a family forever. Miss you full-house GNH!

Apparently, it is not only in life will we be expected to grow more mature. Spiritually, it is the same case as well. First we were fed, then we learn to eat on our own, before long we'll have to fend for others. Spiritually, I'm seeing the same story line. I was fed, then I eat hard chewed food, then I work to bring "food" for others. Here's where I am conflicted: I don't want to fend for others.. That sounds really bad. But hear me out. I came to a point where my fending for others at church has taken more energy than my fending for myself. I am a recent graduate, and as some might know, we don't earn that much dough. I am currently expecting some calls for an interview (which isn't as easy as it sounds.. but we got to keep the hopes up), while working on 3 side jobs which makes close to nothing financially. On the other hand, I'm balancing 1 full-on media production ministry, a creative team for an event, a mentor-parched student gathering,...

The job search continues. Enol besar, sejauh ini. Now the question stands: Should I go to grad school? Maybe, if I don't get a job. Do I want to go to grad school? Not yet. Truthfully, I know that i will stay in America for some time. It feels like the journey is not over yet. It couldn't be over yet. Where does that feeling comes from? I don't know, just a hunch. Right now I can't see it happening. I did not get any replies from the companies I applied to. Still, I will keep this in my prayers. Fasting from rice starts now..

Nights like these are one of those times when I just have to write something. As my tweet was saying, I am jacked up on tea. Been drinking tea the whole day, with so little amount of water. So, emotions are all balled up inside of me. Unreasonable, unknown emotions. udah lah, gw masi harus buat video buat besok. and i'm kinda like.. kebelet.. jd.. ya. kita hentikan disini dulu ;)