I gotta say this, I gotta say this before it doesn't seem like a miracle anymore.
Pre GC Conference 2013, I was at a rough moment in life. No work for 2 months, no reply to any of my job search, big indecisiveness towards staffing agencies, and a long line of projects held up due to the stress. I was struggling with life long questions "am I good enough?" and "should I have done more?" I was at the end of my wits, trying to balance life+work+church.
I saw my no-work period in a brighter light, this way.. it is a chance for me to figure things out at church. With much time freedom (though still with the no-work stress), I got my feet soaked in the video ministry. It was a huge, new thing for me. I mean, there I was, less than a year of experience, and somebody expected me to mentor non-video majors, plus on top of that, manage 2 teams of creatives to do what I usually do with 2 other people at the most. God's great. He showed himself able when I am clearly under equipped. He told me that, obviously, it is not about the "JAR." It is about the water within that ordinary jar that He'll turn into precious wine (BAM!). If you don't get the links, check out Jesus' first miracle in Canna (John 2), as I talked about it more below.
At GC Conference, Pastor Elijah Waters, talked about the miracle I mentioned earlier. This spoke to me in the most empowering way. I was too focused on who I am as a "jar." Unable, and not made, for the precious wine that Jesus was so ready to draw out out of me. Doing that will only hold God from showing His miracles. I've been putting a lid on Him in my Johanna Jar, and that ain't no place for Jesus. Remember, Jesus filled the jar with Water, but he drew out Wine. People filled the jar with something regular, but when Jesus drew out the unremarkable water, He turned it into private reserve wine! The miracle is in the drawing out. The miracle is seeing God turn something ordinary into precious things. I do not have to be caught up with "doing," because God is doing the miracle for me. He already set his mind on his promises, I just gotta believe it, speak it into my situations and let Him do the rest.
Today, my first real day out of the conference, I had the choice to trust in His miracles, or began worrying again. So, I walked out of the bus thinking: "I'm walking in your pace, God." I'm saying, I', trusting God's timing and his way of drawing things out of me.
At work, I told Rb about how my work search is doing, and he offered help. He allowed me to make him my reference, and He even went beyond, He referred me to his friends! and tonight.. after a great meeting with my staffing agency (and Nana's farewell, and Ko Irwan's bible study class), I went home to 2 emails about possible creative jobs. I mean, where does that comes from, if not from our big G-O-D. On thursday, I'll be grabbing some coffee for a chill interview, and we'll see from there. The best is yet to come.
Thank you for your favor, God.