When I went into my room tonight, I was overcame by the shrill heaviness of my heart. If I were to leave this town today, I wouldn't be very proud of how far I have gone. There are still holes around me that I want to fix, and there will be holes I make if I were to leave.
For now I know I have responsibilities to uphold. I am not perfect, but I will not let that be a reason for not trying. There is a need to be met, and it takes a fully functioning Johanna to do it - or at least gather enough people to work together.
I want to make myself remember that I am not alone in this world. I am not a lone fighter of wrongs, nor am I any sorts of fighter. May God's strength carry me over, move me forward, and filled me to the brim. Stay with me holy spirit, encourage my wallowing heart.