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People Change

By  johanna wattimena     5:06 PM    Labels: 

I've went through maybe 6-8 blogs through out the course of my life. This by far is my most written, and longest blog i've kept. God knows all the things I've put in here. It's kinda the place where you can read through my though process, take a glimpse of what has caught my interests lately. All in all, this is a good zone. A great joe zone.

I can't tell you what's going to happen in the next 30 days. I know where I'll be, but I won't know what I will be feeling and what I will care or not care about. But today, I cared about watching Breaking Bad. I am stressed out on closing my projects (a couple video projects, an app design project, a church ministry thing), I'm at loss with my packing for Indo (haven't even started), love life is a big zero (let's just put it out there), I have got no clue on career or anything like that.

Imagine looking back to my life later on 10 years from now- what would I say? I imagine saying, "that was the most confusing time of my life." Laughed it off with old friends. But honestly, nothing really exciting has happened. No big adventures, no YOLO moments. Everybody knows I'm no daredevil, or a mischievous prankster... (by the way, while I was writing mischievous, I had realized that I've been spelling and pronouncing the word wrongly all my life! I've been saying Mischivious - rather than mischievous. shit. whoa.) ... I'm a plain cup of joe. Yes sugar, yes half-and-half, but no nutmeg! I'm a perfectly good cup of coffee with no nutmeg. I'm as spice-less as crap. Maybe a better metaphor is I''m a chai latte, with no ginger. Ginger's the kick in a great chai latte. And I don't have that.

So, what's my nutmeg? What's my ginger? I gotta find it. Man..

The last time I was fearless, and adventurous was probably.. definitely Elementary school. Back then I had balls - not referring that I had undergo a sex-change, but you know what I mean. Nothing could stop me from climbing a wall, or walking on a tight rope from tree to tree. Heck, if someone asks me to go bungee jumping I'd probably do it - unlike today. So what happened? What changed me?

About johanna wattimena

An explorer driven by curiosity. This blog is one of the longest commitment she manage to keep.