Dari masa ke masa, menulis di akhir tahun adalah kebiasaan yang cukup penting buat gue. Secara jurnal gue sudah habis kertasnya sehari yang lalu (planning yg sangat buruk), maka napak tilas kali ini tertulis lah di kertas digital.
Malam terakhir di 2015 gue habiskan dengan penulis-penulis Dasawarna. Kita ngebakar ayam, bikin salad, colek guacamole, dan nyeruput sotong semuanya sambil berceloteh tentang film, kisah masa lalu, karya-karya untuk masa depan, dan tentunya pembicaraan absurd yang tak etis bila dijabarkan disini. Mungkin karena sesama penulis yg masih mencoba menembus industri, jadi tingkat acara kami ya alakadarnya dan kekeluargaan. Just exactly what I need.
Ngumpul sama mereka ngingetin gue akan hal-hal penting dalam hidup: relationship, and being there for each other. Being there for the rants, the downs, the burns, and being there for the ups, the toasts, and the victories. Siapa yang nyangka, temen-temen yang baru friendiversary 1 tahunan ini jadi anak-anak seperjuangan. Precious.
Ngomongin soal 2015, tahun ini cukup penuh sama hal-hal yang diluar kebiasaan gue. Nggak pernah kebayang kalau di umur 25 gue masih belum punya job tetap. Rasanya kalau dilihat secara skala kedewasaan, gue tuh belum maturing. Tapi, that's not a reason for me to feel lacking. No, 2015 ini penuh berkat.
Coba kita urutin:
1. I spent my january in New Orleans.
2. Got out of a job, and joined a venture.
3. Totally spent and frustrated on that venture, but still I got myself 6 months of thinking and alone time.
4. Got some traction on my curly hair blog. Amazing!
5. Came back to Indo to meet old friends (GNH) and rekindle our friendship
6. Landed 2 jobs as a scriptwriter, and one is a webseries (WHAT!).
7. Being surrounded by kids 4 days a week to teach english
8. Got my first paid singing gig. What!
2015 was a start of everything, I think. Small victories that I believe will yield results and be stepping stones for the future. The year was filled with worries, some serious tears were shed, even the afternoon of the 31st was still quite a punch in the gut. But oh dear God, you've been kind and loving.
I still can't quite see where i'm going, and what next steps I need to make. I'm no chess player, and God knows that first hand. But even if i'm a rook, i'll make a crucial play in the year to come. I just gotta let His big hands handle the strategy.
Psalm 37:4 says, Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. "Delight" means so much more than just enjoying your time with God, but also being of soft heart about Him. Being malleable, and easy to mold. This year was about that, about giving up my rights and letting God take control. It'll be more of that next year too, but i'll do it with more trust this time.
A book says, make bold prayers, set goals that without God's intervention it's doomed to fail. Quite a big leap yah, doing all that. But... why not? I serve a big God and why limit what he can do. I want an exciting life, so get ready to ride the waves. Are you ready for 2016? ;)