JOE IS DYING

i bet you think this song is about you. you're so vain. i bet you think this song is about you, Don't you, don't you? Not coming to school for about seven months now are driving me insane. as weird as this might sounds, i have loved going to school since the very moment i sat on my first desk in kindergarden. i was always the not-so-smart-but-dilligent-enough to mark my name with permanent emboss pen on the teachers' good books. i was never the odd-geek-out, i'm always the acceptable weirdo-busy-girl. and i would continue talking about my love of being educated if i didn't stop myself, like, right... now. Anyway, i'm going to make my point in about a second or two here (that depends on how quick your reading capability is). i missed school like crazy, i missed being busy, i missed the yucky lunch, i missed the gossips, i missed being sleepless, i missed having too many things on my head, i missed feeling like "oh-****-im-going-to-kill-that-***-till-his-...

I used to say that i'm anxious waiting for all these stuff to come to the real thing, but God taught me to be patient. in all things. i mean, i know he's teaching me to stop yelling at my sister, stop giving her the death stare. yeah, He taught me to be patient to my sister (and my dad too). But he taught me to be patient when things got wrong too, when things just don't go according to plan. I'm not saying that i've gone professional on these patient and holding on things. but i'm taking one step at a time. and God have repeated the same tactics for three seperate occasions, and it's like im not learning anything. i kept crying and begging and told Him that i couldn't go on this way. but hey, he said "leave all your anxiety to Him", he didn't give me a spirit of fear, and his plans are plan of peace and happiness. so, there's no need to worry, everything would go right in the end. he's shaping me, and oh boy am i glad He's doin...

Hey, i'll be leaving on august after the independence day. i wanted to make the red-and-white salute the last great big event in my "alay" life. i just arrived from sukabumi. i attend the Kumon Completers Club gathering. yeah, you heard me right, i have completed my kumon just a couple of months back. Now i got a lot of kumon completer friends. they are all very cool, some are hilariously funny. i had lotso great fun and i wish it wouldn't be my last time meeting them. thridly, i have just begun my 10 day series of driving lessons. i was hysterical at first, pretty happy to find myself driving in jakarta's famous traffic jams areas. of course i have not bumped into any cars, and i dont intend on doing that at all. so far, i've drove to fatmawati, ciputat, cinere, karang tengah, lereng indah, bona indah, PLN and other cinere area. it was fun and a bit rough. you know what i mean, with all the angkot doing their thang and the motor cyclers driving their scooters...

Senang sekali karena sudah dapat host mom yang benar-benar dicari, dan benar2 disiapkan tuhan. TeeHee! Senang senang! More like "joy" than "happy" in this case, and more like "relieved" than "jumpy" in this case, too. Sama seperti waktu gue dapat scholarship di Cornish. Like, i have asked and i got it. therefore, i rejoice, i thank Him, and i know that once again He showed His power in my life. Isn't God just amazing, ladies? Yes, it took prayers after prayers, and patient passionate waiting too. But the end result will definitely wows you. Tonight i was depressed too. Because my grandmother has went from bad to worse. she's unable to speak, move normally, open her eyes and respond to her surrounding. i can't see her that way, it really cuts my heart. I went out from her room (she's out of the hospital, fyi. Not because she's getting better, but because there's nothing the hospital could do for her anymore) and watched som...

sudah kira-kira beratus-ratus kali saya berhenti puasa cursing karena rokok. that devil's plaything. sebal sekali! waktu itu, pernah di DBest, saya lagi menikmati makan siang di foodcourt yang dinyatakan "area bebas rokok". tau-taunya, orang-orang K-Link (toko obat itu...) yang lagi ada seminar di ruangan sebelah. Mereka berbondong-bondong keluar buat sholat dan istirahat. and you know what, they smoke, in a place which clearly stated "no smoking". agak ironis, jika dilihat bahwa orang-orang yg merokok itu adalah pekerja atau anggota atau bagian dari sebuah perusahaan obat. mereka seharusnya peduli dengan kesehatan. namun, dari tindak-tanduk mereka, nampaknya tidak sama sekali. Mereka seakan-akan hanya bekerja demi uang, tanpa idealisme tersendiri terhadap brand yang mereka kenakan di jas-jas hitam mengkilap mereka. i bet they were on some leadership workshop for some business with shallow idealism. Berikutnya ada orang-orang dari Silver Bird yang bertugas di se...