JOE IS DYING

gw ketawa sendiri liat muka gue. bego bgt. gilaaaa, mentang2 skrg ada org di otak gue. gue jadi suka aneh2 sendiri. it's another one of those syndromes. if you know me long enough, you'll know i'll get over them in 3 months. without even developing anything between "us". easy thing for a temporary feel for those teenage stupid love story. but what if some genuine feeling come around and i just stop myself like any other ones "liking" scenes i've got so far. truth is, i know the answer. but i just like to post the question. romantic comendy? yes, please.

photos are here . photos are taken with mr.mac. so it's just that one place where i could sit and actually ran around with my laptop to take pitcures with. i wished i had my holga with me. maybe some other time. ps: im broke!!

That was me, two days ago at three a.m, doing my dust jacket for that book i was holding. I was actually happy with what i got thus far. Untill i printed it out and placed it on the book the next day. and i realized it SUCKED! it was around 12 in the night and i was so tired - due to lack of sleep. so at 3.30-ish i just went to my bed thinking that i could wake up 30 minutes after my nap. cause i hate my cover. hate is with all my heart. 30 minutes after i couldn't get myself to work again. so i just continue on sleeping and woke up the next dy at 8 o'clock feeling very happy. cause the sun was shining and the clouds are pretty. i did my work at school and it looks a tad better after the change. and i was relieved for a while, until i printed it out and looked at the book from a far. i was like - "@#%()*&^%$#$%&((*&^%$#@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!" - yeah. i didn't say any bad words though. all the anger is corrupting the beautiful day. i need something to drin...

as usual, every Friday we had this little thing called CG. i dont know why i decided to post this, while i have a ton of work to do. but i guess i get so many stuff tonight that i can't stop from sharing stuff to you guys - my virtual friends... hari ini Ivo (gak ada di foto) yang mimpin CG. dan kita ngomongin sin. sekarang ivo lagi pusing bgt mikirin tugasnya yg due in like 30 minutes. anyway, one or two things that touches me tonight are that i gues i have forgotten that all sin's wages is death. lying, killing, cursing, corrupting, yeah all those - each and every one of them - wages to death. it seems incredulous that it is that way. for our society sees "sin" as a "a dot of gray on white = grey, and it continues to be darker and darker and darker till it's pitch black" kind of thing. sometimes i felt, oh that one sin that i have is cursing. oh well, i know god has forgiven me and all i gotta do now is do my best not to do it again. but no. i've...

once i was told to wait. things were fine at first, but it gets harder and harder. try to drive in a pitch black storm. nothing but the headlight is guiding you. no cell phone signal, no street light, no nothing. just you in the car, driving with the head light on that lights the next five mile that you're about to drive to. will you get to your destination? eventually you will. now will i? these questions made me extremely melancholic. i watched Bride Wars just a moment ago. and i was left with a sigh and a smile. i prepared my lunch for the morning and blogged about how i don't want to go to sleep yet. despite my early class tomorrow, despite the lateness of the hour. despite my heavy sigh. now will i? eventually, somehow, i will.

one funny thing. my first val day in the states was spent waking up at 7-ish and going to church for a music practice and bible study. i didn't remember that it was valentine's day. i didn't remember till the next day, in fact. well, as i walked down to my bible study class, my friends was all in the other class and i just marched in and started singing "unbreak my heart". of course, my friends are like 'ah si jo jo, biasa lah...' (gue gak tau kenapa gue dipanggil jojo. padahal gw udan insist, untuk dipanggil joe). and i sang a bunch of other songs, until ivo said "jo, udah mandi blom?" and i told her that i didn't. and she said "pantesan kta masi single. valentine's aja gak mandi." LOL ~ yah, mau diapain dong... after bible study we went to Red Mill for a burger lunch, Green Lake for a hot chocolate at chocolati, and we took a few pics with my Lomo and Tim's slr, walked around the beautifully gigantic green lake and made so...

have a good one you guys!

Have you ever felt so little desire to live? I mean, not in a suicidal, emo way, but more in a day to day basis. Like, you can't find a reason to go to school than just to merely do it because you usually do it, or just because you pay 66 cents per minute for that school. I had, and boy was that a chore! I woke up late every single day and thus every single day i've got to run down the hill, not taking my breakfast along with me, praying that the bus won't leave me and that even if it did, i won't be late to class. every single day, can you imagine that? i didn't have a purpose to going to school (at least, for the last 3 weeks of the new semester), i didn't find joy in whatever i was doing, i though they were all just pure junk to clean up, a chore i've got to do, a bad music that i have to listen to for three more minutes cause the guy driving the car i was in likes those kind of songs. I thought, where did my purpose go? where did that first semester joy ...