JOE IS DYING

Oh Yes! Following my Nov 5 disappointment log.. Here's a break of fresh air. I finally got a chance to go to visit Pulau Seribu with my Gurl: Devi. I didn't pay a lot of attention to taking pictures, despite the many that was posted on Instagram (check: Tresdivine ). My SLR was quite forgotten for a good chunk of Day 2 and 3. Mind you, I am not a photographer. I am a videographer. So, being left without a motion capturing device was pretty disabling for me. Sad. Nonetheless, below are some of the eye candies I get to capture and experience. Overall the break had successfully swim tan me. Now, I got a massive black X across my back, thus my sincere farewell to strapless dress for now. Additionally a definite black forehead. Sexy stuff, I must confess. The time was spent mostly snorkeling (which was the best decision ever) and adventuring around the island; kayaking, hiking, swimming and spending time with the locals. I wish I had pics of Mas Miki, Mba Roh, Pak Guide (his rea...

I know, I know. As bad as this might sound, I am playing with fire. I won't tell you what kind of fire I'm starting up, but I know it's not going to lead me to a good place. The fire is the warm and mischievous kind, the one that makes you smile and play along. One day I'm gonna get burned, and I'm not even fully aware of that possibility. Bayangin! Ugh. I really don't want this game to back fire at me. He's gonna get the last laugh and I probably will be the one who suffers. I do hope that he'll be the uninterested kind. Gawd, I hope so, or else we're both screwed. Mmm Gurl.. On the other hand, my father told me to act like a grown woman yesterday. And my mom told me I act like a little kid. Both said with smiles. Regardless, I'd like to keep my actions the way they are. I mean, if I can get away with looking like a 17 year old, then I can get a little break for acting like a 17 year old. This face ain't gonna last me a life ti...

Is this the beginning of a new rant? I sure hope not. But I gotta be honest with you, today didn't turn out as I expected. I got stuck in my house, no chance of going out to hike, despite it being a holiday. I can't believe I'm shedding tears over nature, over a flipping hike around a stupid tea plantation. Deep in my core I am screaming in anger, that Jakarta isn't like Seattle. That I can't have a proper quiet time in a coffee shop, or I can't walk and just zone out, or ride the bus and look out to the washington lake or the olympic peninsula. I'm so frustrated, so pushed to the wall that I get so weak, I can't do anything about it. Going to the gym, and exercising helps with maintaining a less agitated mood. But one day I'm about to explode. I am not willing to get to that day anytime soon. God help me.

Today I had the rare experience to quietly sit in a coffee shop, read a good book and enjoy some quality thinking time. The Visionering book given to me at Catalyst Conference was finally reaching its last chapters. I've been very cautious about reading each chapters because I do not want to get in on a "vision" based on rash judgement. But being in Jakarta made me aware of how important is leading a life purposefully, driven by a God given vision. I can say that mine is still quite on the abstract, obvious side. See, last year Rob asked me the question, and I can only come up with "I want to help people." How do I plan on doing that was still quite gray. This year, the same question pops up around the second month of working at church. Not from anyone, but from myself. I asked if this is it. Serving at church as a job. While my mother said that I could've done so much more, I know God has a plan to prepare me for greatness through the role I'm current...

Moments like these are priceless. Yes, it's not fun to get a sudden stretch in the stomach the moment I think of all the things I had to accomplish tomorrow, or a tiny gag from the short whatsapp tease I had this morning. It's priceless because I will get to look back at today and gratefully smile for all the lessons I had to painfully endure. Lessons on how to persevere through writer's block, lessons on keeping my head up, lessons on sticking to my gut, and lessons on replying to a flirtatious joke. Tomorrow will be a new day, I know. But the acid in my stomach made me feel like it won't be all sunshine tomorrow. That, or I'm incredibly pessimistic. I just realized, that I actually have the choice of taking the weekend off, or go a mile extra and work on sunday (then maybe lose my cool on wednesday). I'd choose the first. Yes, my sanity comes first. Here's to all the work waiting for me till January the 10th: a clink to the empty air with an imaginary ...