JOE IS DYING

maybe i'll buy a map, to put on my wall, cause i really want to travel the world. now i just need to make solid plans about it. why travel? cause i want to see cultures! i'm not in for shopping, or pictures.. i want to see their architecture, i want to see the people, i want to eat their food, talk to people and love the world - cause we're all going out of here anyway, why not enjoy the honests things that was and is here.

Things to do before i Die: - go on mission trips - explore countries - go to a planetarium - camp to see stars - learn to snorkel and surf - get married and have kids Places i would love to visit: - back packing around europe: italy, venice, rome, france, england, netherlands - to explore culturally: israel, egypt, morocco, iran, mexico - to chill: spain, greece - to quiet down: forgotten beaches of indonesia, bunaken please please please god lemme visit all these places..! Excited for Hawaii in August :)

kepikiran something to do mungkin waktu saya akhirnya melakukannya rasa sakitnya baru hilang.. i never really got the chance to cry it out mungkin karena betapa jauhnya saya dari lokasi kejadian saya menunggu hari saya balik ke indo saya harap semuanya belum pergi saya ingin bertanya tentang hidup

blog ini adalah bentuk buku diary yang paling earth friendly. cuma pake listrik sama banyak cable power. ngak pake kertas, ngak pake yg laen2. saya ngak perlu membaca entry2 saya yang sebelumnya untuk mengambil kesimpulan bahwa saya belum blajar banyak. not in the places that i wish i would, specifically. contohnya, saya masih sering berharap sama hal yang saya yakin ngak mungkin. saat saya bilang ke diri saya sendiri "ngak mungkin, jo. ngak usah berharap." terus beneran kejadian seperti itu, saya agak sedih. you know, somewhere inside, i wish that i was wrong. but hey, it's reality. i shouldn't fill my head with hollywood stuff or korean stuff that gets me up in clouds. ok, my eyes are starting to hurt. i need some sleep. night. ps: watching arctic monkeys this august. so excited! and going to hawaii too with girlfriend. excitement!

baru ada yg kirim makanan kerumah. terimakasih, si bapak sangat baik sekali. seharian saya agak sulit memilih antara makan tuturuga atau makan pecel/gado2. akhirnya saya ke indocafe mesen tuturuga - karena dapet nasi. setelah kenyang terlupakanlah pecel yg dinantikan. tiba2 si boss bawa pecel ke rumah, nyambil lewat ke tempat cg-nya.. katanya. hehehe. terimakasih ya. hari ini saya pengen berenang. mungkin setelah nunggu rendering. yg pasti 2 projek video ini harus selesai. setelah itu, minggu depan masuk projek videonya m+c. saya bingung kapan saya bakal sempet bikin portfolio buat internship. OH WAIT, the sun is out!! maybe it's gonna stay there for a couple of minutes.. it's fading away as i write this. oh, seattle... you make me so mellow.

Sepertinya udah jadi kebiasaan setiap tahun dua kali, saya bakal kehilangan temen-temen - yang balik ke indo, yang transfer universitas. Hari ini sepasang kakak-adik dateng ke rumah buat nge-drop beberapa barang buat teman saya. Si kakak mau balik indo, si adik mau transfer ke LA. Jadi rada somber ya.. Apalagi seattle rasanya ngak bakalan pernah summer tahun ini, sampa akhir juni-pun kita masih hujan dan jarang dapet sun break. I still thank You for each and everyday. :)

Oh, belum lapor. Sekarang saya 21 tahun. Belum, saya belum mabuk (dan ngak ada rencana buat mabuk). Belum, saya belum buat WA ID (this is pretty pressing klo mau minjem dvd di safeway, atau beli liquor tanpa tunjukin KTP indo). Belum, saya belum mengambil keputusan drastis. Unlike tahun2 lalu, dimana bday night saya di spend berduaan di kamar, ngobrol dan berterimakasih. malam minggu lalu saya nganterin temen ke bandara, lalu makan fondue berdua sama Sam di Queen Ann. Nampaknya saya jadi punya kesukaan baru, hang out berdua atau bertiga doang. Enak bgt ngak berisik, dan bisa ngobrol. Given that the people i'm with are the ones im comfy with. Besok malemnya, saya main lagi ke Queen Ann bareng sama Devi - meninggalkan jejes buat belajar buat exam- demi makan Toulouse, restoran cajun. Kita makan begnnet (i dont even know how to spell these goodies), bread pudding and a 3-cheese platter! Oooh mommah, sho good. What was missing was wine - which we were so tempted to buy. However, kita n...

Was watching an mv for old time sake, praying for those on their last resort. There is hope. On the lighter side, funniest youtube comment on papa roach's last resort: cut my soul into pieces i am lord voldemort multilation no leaving dont have a nose how the F am i breathing

progress: 1. Product packaging: book 2. App: AE + book 3. H&S: Edit last essay + finish Historical Me Dikit lg. but my body is so dead.

we're always dreaming of utopia but new world will only come after the old is destroyed

On Friday i heard this conversation: *kids walking down the 45th Ave Man1: They are the future of our country Man2: Fuck, we're doomed. Me (thinking): We are our country's today, what are you doing? (ironically, that applies to me too) Tuesday: Watching Lions for Lambs get me thinking about life purpose. Today i overheard john's conversation about governments and globalizations. Things like that interested me. I would like to think that i am a smart person, posses a strong sense of justice that carries me to do things i was specifically created to do. But i am not. I'm slower to come into certain conclusions, i am sometimes driven by emotions and triggered by circumstances. which means, i am inconsistent and the fact that i am writing this, and not doing something more worth my while, shows how perfectly comfortable i am with such labels. I told my friend that i wished i was doing political science and not design. or maybe just as a minor. but isn't polisci just ta...

baru ngeliat kerjaan design temen the only thing that pops up into my head: "im never gonna get a job" i'm behind with my chocolate line project. and it isn't my kind of "like". idk, i think i have to get things vectorized to make it legit. dang.

I just read about Grey Gardens again. Now, knowing that it's a documentary and not a film based on a musical with a documentary style. I researched on the two Edies, and how their lives were. I'm just really struck on how your younger, glorious days can become like a time you want to relive and re-live again. Something you'd always look back on, and *sigh* as if what you're living now is just a dream and when you wake up, you'll go back to those days again. it scares me. i dont want to be old, and yet keep on wishing for the young days to begin again. Regreting what i have become and the many chances i have missed, or filling up what was real with what it could've become and talk about it as if that was the truth. Now i don't have many thoughts about that, i rarely look back. but i hope when i get older, i will - as much as i am now- look forward for tomorrow. oh god, keep me and lead me. i dont want to end up like that. my stomach isn't feeling so good....

kebanyakan bikin desain ini, desain itu. sekarang otak gua udah ngak kreatif sama sekali. mungkin, ini waktunya untuk jalan2 dan ngobrol sama banyak orang baru (preferably in english). *ketawa* i mean, 2 years of automatic mode. no excitement in school, no nothing. can't believe i just noticed it now. when the semester is almost over. guh. pengen jalan2 ke eropa. get some inspiration. or maybe im just too caffeinated to stay in place and do my work. oh well, i need to get to vocal class now. yes.

gua ngak chatting. kadang2 gua ngerasa rada ketinggalan jaman sih. but dood, im just not a chatter, not a texter, not a phone caller. if you want to communicate with me, facetoface me. e-mail me. hard core old school, yes? really, it's the most truthful one. but yes, i do stalk ppl through social networks. tee hee.

SAYA haru GERAK CEPAT. CUMA saya takut ini pilihan yang salah. bantu doain... should i just try. if i was meant to get into the internship, i'll get in. if not then they'll pass me. oh gosh. in any case it's going to be a great job experience, it's a learning session. it'll be fun! right...? Oh, decision, decision, decision!

saya ngak ngerti. saya ngak ngerti kenapa bisa ada orang yg bener2 suka sama satu hal (dan beberapa hal yang lain, tapi intinya dia fokus sama hal2 itu) dan bisa telaten bener ngejalaninnya setiap hari. kadang2 saya jadi bingung berpikir, sebenernya saya tuh bisa ngapain sih? disatu sisi saya pengen keren dan menjunjung harga diri berkata "ya, gua jago semuanya, bisa dong." Ngak juga sih, saya ngak jago sampe bisa bikin orang laen nyembah2 saya. saya biasa aja. saya bisa semuanya, tapi saya biasa aja di semuanya. which means, bisanya saya tuh omong kosong. Maksud saya ngomong tentang 'fokus sama satu hal' and actually being real good at it, it's in a sense that you're willing to do that for the rest of your life. I have no frickin idea of that! Sedihnya, dalam waktu satu setengah tahun saya bakalan lulus dari kuliah, yang sekarang saya anggap sebagai 'sangkar emas' saya. comfort. setelah keluar dari bangku sekolah, saya mau ngapain juga saya ngak tau....

this whole craziness about that UCLA girl, go get this t-shirt you PROUD ASIANS!

Hari ini pergi juga sama Devi and Julia ke Miro Tea, it's a Cafe down in Ballard, a place that we just discovered! I love that area. so much. like, there was so much to see, and the place was a quaint, old city type of place. so many red-brick houses, so many cafes, ale house (bar), and restaurants and clothing stores gaya2 seattle (nyantai, dan kaos-an). It's that sort of day that i would remember when i leave this town. i dont want to leave seattle. but i don't know what i would one day become. this is me, on late coming of age crisis.

Saya baru nonton social network. it was a great movie, inspiring and cool. cuma gua sakit hati (dan sakit perut) ngeliat persahabatan yg bilang ilang begitu aja gara2 jealousy yg disimpen di hati dan akhirnya berbuah jadi a law suit. it was really stupid sih. gua sampe berkaca-kaca ngeliat si eduardo marah sama mark, cause it's like a walk-all-over-your trust kind of thing. i dont know if i was in that same place, i would be able to forgive that. i bet it wasn't even about the money, it was more about friendship. see fb was something they started together and it was true that a lot of it was mark's idea, but eduardo had been the first fire starter, you know. he's a great contributor, and blinded by jealousy and, i guess, pride, things just crashed and burned for the friendship part. ugh. Dari awalnya sih, gua udah rada kesel sama mark. he's kind of a douche for saying all these things to mark when he got into Phoenix (is that a frat house or something?) and i thoug...